The Princess' New Clothes
by Mike Fenton
Summary: Shameless ripoff of the Hans Christian Andersen classic.


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The Princess' New Clothes

(Shameless ripoff of the Hans Christian Andersen classic.)

[Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo! and its characters are the property of AIC and Pioneer LDC, Inc. and was created by Masaki Kajishima. This story comes mostly from my imagination, and is strictly intended to be apocryphal—so please don't sue me.]

ONCE UPON A TIME, there lived a Juraian princess named Ayeka who lived in a nice, little Japanese house and worked like a servant. Nevertheless, she was exceedingly vain and spent most of her time sewing and knitting—making clothes in the hope of winning the love of the young man (whose father this house belonged to), Tenchi Masaki. 

Now, Ayeka was already very pretty, but she doubted her beauty—being surrounded by so many other pretty girls. Somehow, they always seemed more likely in her mind to win the young man's affection.

First, there was Ryoko, a creature of wildly flagrant notions and viciously playful. Although frequently disgusted by her rudeness, Tenchi obviously noticed a sensitive side in her. At least, Ayeka was convinced that he had.

Second, there was Mihoshi. Although Mihoshi was clumsy and impossible to converse with, she possessed two things that Ayeka envied—beautiful mocha skin and long, blonde hair. It was convenient that Ayeka could excuse her jealousy with concern for Tenchi's well-being, but she could not count on Mihoshi being dangerously inept forever.

Thirdly, there was Sasami, her younger sister. True, it would likely be years before Sasami could hope to win Tenchi's affection, but Sasami was already more pretty than all the rest of them put together. What was worse, Sasami was an excellent cook—something Ayeka had never mastered.

Desperate action was clearly called for. To win Tenchi's heart, Ayeka would have to impress him more than any other woman ever could. It seemed fortunate, therefore, that she happened to discover a pair of brilliant fashion designers. At least, so they appeared to be.

The two women came highly recommended, of course, and Ayeka was impressed that they seemed to know so much of the art of clothing design—but, of course, they were both really pirates.

They made up a story about how their specialty was so stunning and awe-inspiring that people would be struck dumb—unable to even admit that they were seeing anything. "Only those with the keenest fashion sense could truly appreciate the beauty of our work," one explained.

Ayeka, hardly believing her good fortune, decided to commission some work from them. She gracefully allowed them to take exacting measurements of her body and then leave them alone to do their work. She also generously handed over a small fortune to them in advance—so much, that even the Supreme Council of Jurai was a little shocked.

Night and day for the next week, the two fashion designers were seen to be doing nothing else. They pantomimed putting invisible material onto fashion dummies, sewing more invisible cloth in the sewing machines, launching back and forth into heated arguments over which one's ideas would work better, etc.

The princess started to become nervous and eager to see how the project was coming along, but she doubted her own fashion sense. She decided to send, instead, someone whose opinion she valued far above most others—her brother Yosho.

If anyone could reassure Ayeka, it was Yosho. Yosho was a Shinto priest and a very kind man. Besides that, he was very experienced in the ways of this curious planet. Yosho had kept an amused detachment up until this point, so he went to the pirates' residence, brimming with curiosity.

Sneaking up to one of their windows, he peered in and was rewarded with an astonishing array of elaborate drama—gestures, movements and even conversations about fabric which clearly didn't even exist. Yosho was very surprised, and little outraged.

As he began returning home, however, he began to imagine the way Ayeka would react to different versions of this news and realized that the one flaw in his character would never allow him to admit the truth to Ayeka. Deep down inside, Yosho was just a rotten scoundrel, and so he casually informed Ayeka that he thought the project was coming along nicely.

At first, Ayeka was excited. A stunning new outfit, and even confirmed by her brother. A few days later, though, she began to worry again, so she sent her sister, Sasami.

Sasami—who occasionally pestered Ayeka with her expectations, anyway—was more than happy to go assay the progress of which those designers had been hard at work. Sasami went inside and questioned the two, quickly discovering beyond any doubt that there was actually no material there at all, and she became furious.

"My sister will hear about this!" she proclaimed, as she left in a huff. But, again, as she began returning home, she began to imagine how Ayeka would react. It broke her heart to think of the fury and disappointment that Ayeka would feel, so Sasami decided to make up a story, instead.

Reluctantly, Sasami told Ayeka that the designers had nearly finished and that what they were doing was indeed the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

Ayeka could hardly wait to see the outfit, now. The next day, she went to the house of the pirates and found them sitting at their machines, a little undecided. She questioned them, and they explained that they were just now deciding how to finish the outfit.

Now, of course, Ayeka could not see that which was not there, but she had been told by two people she trusted implicitly that the outfit was, in fact, real. So, she concluded that she only had herself to blame for not being able to see, and quietly chastised herself for not having enough fashion sense.

The next day was to be the great unveiling, so to speak, and Ayeka could hardly resist showing off. So, she had everyone wait in the main hall while she went to go "dress." The pirates answered all of Ayeka's curious questions, as she nervously disrobed—the strange lack of weight in the outfit, whether to be concerned about the length of the train of the skirt, how to keep the outfit clean and in good repair, etc.

Then, when she emerged onto the balcony (amidst wry amusement from Ryoko and Washu, and horrified embarrassment of Sasami and Tenchi), she did a proper modeling turn—not failing to notice, in doing so, the curious and disapproving stares of Misaki (her mother), Funaho (her step-mother), and Azusa (her father, the emperor). Yosho was discreetly nowhere in sight.

"Oh my god!" Mihoshi exclaimed. "Ayeka, you're completely naked!"

Ayeka seemed a little taken aback at this remark, despite blushing in a bit of embarrassment—content with the notion that Mihoshi could not possibly appreciate the beauty of this moment. She turned her nose up and silently cursed Mihoshi for being a nitwit.

THE END


End file.
